What is Deep-Dive Mentoring?
In 2019, Don Hoover and Mark Paulson, with the support of Tim Oakley, piloted a men’s mentoring program at Blacknall that is used by over 500 churches nationwide and which has mentored more than 20,000 men.
After a pandemic pause, we are relaunching “Deep-Dive Mentoring” (DDM) in early 2024 with three groups (5 - 7 guys per group) led by co-mentors including:
Mark Paulson and Ed Cvelich;
Brett Moran and Kip Coonley;
Miles Honeycut and Pete Gerend.
Tim Oakley is currently leading a group and will also be partnering with these mentors.
Our deep desire is to create space for younger men to connect with some men who are a season ahead of them so that side-by-side we all might be encouraged to a deeper level of intimacy with Jesus, our families, our community, and each other. We are confident that as we love Jesus more he will continue to transform us into His likeness. We are also convinced that we need each other as we apprentice with Jesus.
Guiding Principles
It is our prayer that our groups will be characterized by a few guiding principles:
Spiritual mentoring is relational. We plan to spend significant time listening to each other’s stories, praying for each other, and encouraging each other.
Spiritual mentoring is the work of the Holy Spirit. We will seek to create space for the Holy Spirit to do His work of transformation in us together.
Spiritual mentoring is purposeful. We will guided by the Bible and some really great books exploring topics men face such as faith, faith in action, relationships (community, friends, marriage, children, family of origin), vocation, finances, decision making, purpose, personal awareness and among others.
Spiritual mentoring requires a commitment. We will be making a significant commitment to you and we will be asking that you make a similar commitment.
Time Commitment & Cost
The 12-month program involves:
A monthly meeting from 7 - 10 p.m. on a weeknight to be set by the group at the first meeting;
Two overnight retreats — one in the second month and one at the end;
A significant monthly reading assignment;
Lunch/coffee with one of the group members each month;
Memorization of Scriptures (one or two per month) and a growth assignment related to the monthly topic.
We expect to have our first meeting during the second half of February (final time to be determined) and conclude with the retreat in January 2025. Please register by January 25, 2024.
The meetings are NOT optional. The group will settle on a schedule at the first meeting and stick to it. A premium is placed on timeliness, preparation, and respect for everyone else in the group. We can almost assure you that you will have to make some tough business and family decisions to honor your commitment to your mentor and the group to be at each meeting . . . and be there on time.
Although not onerous, the requirements are consistent and they will take focused time, both to attend the sessions and to do the reading and memory work.
The cost of the materials and books will be covered. You will be expected to pay your fair share of the retreat costs (expected to be food and recreation only), but there is assistance if needed.
More Information
For more info on the program, check out the links below:
Program Overview (2 min. 41 sec.)
Mentee Testimonial (2 min. 20 sec.)
Podcast Episode with program founder Regi Campbell (60 min.)
“I joined the Men’s Mentoring group at a time when our family was going through a lot of transition. I decided to do it because it was designed for people who were married with young children, and I felt like I would benefit from something that focused on integrating discipleship with vocation and family in real time.
When we were a few months into our journey together, I realized how easy it had been, during this season of my life, to let close relationships of support and accountability drift away as I focused on the demands of my job, family, ministry, and community work. I realized how rare it is for people in their 30’s and 40’s to have people who remind them of their identity in Christ on a regular basis as they tend to the many cares of the season they’re in. That was me, and although I knew what the truth was in my head, the group allowed me to wrestle through it together with others and with a mentor who cares for us. This is what makes the Mens Mentoring group so valuable – it provides a community and a mentor to help you dig deeply into many aspects of your life and see how your discipleship might touch all of them.”
“It’s difficult to put into words just how much of a difference the Men’s Mentoring program has made in my life. For over a year, we spent time learning about ourselves, relationships with our spouse, relationships with our children and parents. We talked about family finances, we tackled racism, and sexuality all within a Christian lens. But, mostly, I learned what it was to truly journey with a group of men and to be fully known by them.
I can tell you, I have never experienced anything quite like this in my adult life. I ended the experience with stronger relationships all around and with the tools and resources to take on life‘s challenges. The guys in our group still keep up with each other, and I meet with two of the men (Common Journey Partners) every couple of weeks for breakfast or a morning walk to talk through life circumstances. They are friends, brothers, confidants, advisers— in Christ.”
“The Men’s Mentoring group that Tim has been a cornerstone of most of my personal growth in the past year. I cannot overstate how helpful the combination of meaningful content, deep no-holes-barred discussions and group comradery is in facilitating a culture of mutual commitment and honesty.
In my opinion, this mentoring group succeeds where others fail because the mentors set the tone by “opening the ndrew” into their own story, setting the tone that it’s a safe place to be vulnerable and sharing your journey. The weekend where you get together to share your life story with the group will change you and open your eyes into just how much pain many men just never talk about.
The reading material is finely curated and speaks authoritatively on each subject the group discusses in the course of the meetings. Many of the books have earned a prominent place on my bookshelf and will be read again multiple times in the future. Excellent works of wisdom for the modern day father.
The real value however, is in what changes this makes possible for the families of the men who participate. I’m a different man than when I started this enterprise and my family and friends benefit tangibly from the seeds my mentor and these men have sown in my life. My children have a better father, my wife has a better husband and the world has a better family for his efforts. It has been an honor to walk with these men.”
“I was approached by Mark to join this group of men to build deeper relationships with both Christ and other men. After meeting with Mark and understanding what the commitment was I was honestly a little hesitant. As I prayed about it and discussed it with my wife I came up with all sorts of excuses why I didn’t want to do it, namely my busy schedule at work, being a husband and father, extracurricular commitments, and deep down, I did not have an overwhelming desire to be vulnerable with other men. I was, or so I thought, healthy and happy right where I was. I had convinced myself I would turn it down, but the Holy Spirit convicted me this was Satan’s way of weakening the church. Dividing men with all their “responsibilities” and keeping them from forming any sort of strong Christian bond has been a tactic Satan continues to use. We see it in failing marriages, unfulfilled employment, insecurity in being a provider, etc. So I took the plunge and made the commitment and it really changed my walk with other brothers and most importantly with Christ.
This program is built on deepening relationships, where other guys are safe to be vulnerable, sharing highs, lows, questions, challenges, and feel more connected to the Lord through the power of a common bond. We are all in the same boat with similar struggles. They may look different from person to person, but when I was able to both share and receive experiences, it transformed how I viewed myself as a man in Christ. Never in my life had I thought I would look forward to the meetings. My faith grew deeper and I was encouraged by how similar I was to the other guys in our group. I would highly recommend making a commitment to participate. I believe it is one of our best defenses against Satan’s efforts to divide and conquer.”
— Brian Mitchell
“In Becoming a King, Morgan Snyder asks how do we understand masculinity and become who God truly intends us to be. How do we rediscover the path of inner transformation and initiation? The answer simply and dauntingly is we must be shown the path by brothers that have walked the path before us.
With this answer in my mind but not practically in hand, I responded to a call to covenantly join a group of men under the guidance of a sage mentor. I am only half way through the structured portion of group. I have been challenged and encouraged to systematically gain awareness of myself and my relationships with my wife and my children. I have found God fulfilling longings within my heart of how I already wanted to lead in these areas of my life, but felt I didn’t know the path. I recommend these mentoring groups fully as I see this group pathfinding as a cr’tical link in Christian formation.’
OTHER MENTEES WHO COMPLETED DDM
Jason Petree, Allan Freyer, George Olaru, Scott Milke, Christian Pikaart, Dave Miller
MENTORS OF DDM FOR 2024
Pete Gerend, Miles Honeycutt, Brett Moran, Ed Cvelich, Kip Coonley, Mark Paulson